Developing up in a family surrounded by narcissists is chaotic, confusing, anxiety invoking and causes psychological wounding to its non narcissistic members. The narcissistic parent(s) sets the tone for the family. Everything in the external environment requires image–how one appears to others. Children are expected to project an act of perfection and success that is admired and envied by everyone. Looking at these families from very far, they appear to be loyal and caring toward one other, dedicated to educational and professional success showing a family facade that is fabricated to be admired. Narcissist Mother
In private the reality is the contrary. The narcissistic parent (mother and/or father) is the absolute dictator in this home. He or the girl decides the role that each child will play. Children who are constitutionally better and intellectually more gifted are often chosen to be the chosen, the golden ones that the parents use as models of perfection that most the other siblings must learn to emulate and admire. Children who are less attractive, are not as intellectually bright or athletically weaker, are put down and openly embarrassed as worthless and substandard. The narcissistic parent helps it be clear by word and behavior which children he favors and those who don’t make the class. These youngsters are often completely ignored like they didn’t exist or constantly picked on and bombarded for being perceived as inferior and weak.
That is very difficult for a lot of adult children of a narcissistic parent and narcissistic siblings to disengage and exit from the family portrait. Many believe their narcissistic loved ones will change if the non narcissistic child or sibling makes one more effort to communicate, understand, show more compassion. Narcissists don’t change. Their personality structure is as hard as metal. They are constantly compensated by displaying overwhelming self-confidence and drive, creating foothills of monetary and social success. Current society applauds narcissists who “have it all” despite their serious and treacherous acts that dissemble and destroy the lives of many, including family members.
At some point in their internal development and growing sense of self, members of these narcissistic families experienced enough. They draw the queue in indelible ink-they will need the abuse no longer. With great handle and courage, they serious the ties from their narcissistic families. Awaiting them is a renewed life of hope, creativity, energy source, psychological and emotional curing and inner peace.